Understanding Your Child’s Behavior Plan

Many children engage in behaviors that are difficult for families to navigate. You may hear these behaviors described as challenging, maladaptive, problematic, or interfering. In this article, we use the term interfering behaviors, because these are behaviors that interrupt routines, learning, or daily life.

It’s important to pause here and reframe how we think about these behaviors.

For a child who engages in behaviors such as aggression, self-injury, tantrums, or dropping to the floor, the behavior itself often isn’t “a problem” from their perspective. In fact, these behaviors frequently work very well for them. They get needs met quickly, consistently, and effectively.

Behavior Is Communication

Many children who engage in interfering behaviors do not yet have an effective way to communicate their wants, needs, or discomfort. When communication skills are limited, behavior becomes the most reliable way to be understood.

For example, if my two-year-old wants a snack but can’t open the refrigerator, he may hit his head on the fridge or cabinets, scream, cry, and drop to the floor. From the outside, this looks alarming and stressful. From his perspective, it works. He gets my attention immediately.

Someday, he may realize that yelling “Mom!” or coming to get me is faster, less painful, and just as effective. But right now, he’s using the best tools he has.

Our role as caregivers and clinicians isn’t to punish or suppress these behaviors—it’s to teach safer, more efficient ways to communicate. When children have better tools, the interfering behaviors naturally become less necessary.

How Behavior Plans Support Your Child

A behavior plan is not about control or compliance. It’s a roadmap for:

• Understanding why a behavior is happening

• Reducing risk and stress

• Teaching meaningful replacement skills

• Supporting communication and independence

Below are some of the key ways we support children compassionately and effectively.

1. Establishing a Functional Communication Method

One of the most powerful ways to reduce interfering behavior is to give children a reliable way to communicate.

This is where collaboration is essential. Many of our clinics work closely with Speech-Language Pathologists (SLPs) who can assess your child’s communication skills and recommend the most effective approach.

If a child is not vocal at this time, communication may include:

• Sign language

• PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System)

• AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) devices, such as an iPad

A common concern we hear from families is: “If my child uses pictures or a device, will they stop trying to talk?”

Research consistently shows the opposite. Access to alternative communication does not reduce the likelihood of vocal speech. In fact, it often increases overall communication, including vocal language, because children finally have a way to be understood.

Communication first—vocal speech may follow.

2. Breaking the Reinforcement Chain

Sometimes, without realizing it, adults accidentally reinforce interfering behaviors.

In the fridge example, if I open the fridge every time my son hits his head or screams, I’m teaching him that hurting himself and escalating quickly is the most effective way to get help.

If we want to see a different behavior, we have to make that behavior easier and more effective than the interfering one.

This is hard—especially when life is busy. If I’m helping my other child and my toddler calmly says “Mom,” he may not get an immediate response. But if he drops to the floor screaming, I react right away. Over time, the louder behavior wins.

With intention and planning, we can shift this pattern. For example:

• Placing preferred, healthy snacks on a pantry shelf so they’re easier to access

• Teaching your child where those snacks are and how to get them

• Adding a simple signal, such as a magnetic button on the fridge that makes noise

At first, this takes teaching and practice. There may still be some interfering behavior while your child learns the new skill. The key is consistency—responding quickly and predictably when your child uses the new, appropriate behavior.

3. Building Replacement Skills (Including Waiting)

Even with strong communication skills, there will be times when immediate attention isn’t possible. A compassionate behavior plan prepares children for this reality by teaching waiting in small, achievable steps.

Using the fridge button example, we might:

• Start by responding immediately when the button is pressed

• Gradually increase the wait time by just a few seconds

• Vary response time so waiting becomes flexible, not rigid 

You might say, “Oh! I hear you want a snack,” while moving toward your child at a slower pace. This teaches an important lesson: reinforcement is coming, even if it’s not instant.

If your child begins to drop to the floor or engage in interfering behavior during the wait, that doesn’t mean they lose access to the snack. Instead, you might:

• Provide a small portion of the snack

• Offer another chance to press the button and practice the skill (you can even make this a fun game)

• Add visual or vocal supports, such as saying “wait” and counting on your fingers

These moments are not failures—they’re learning opportunities.

Compassion Is the Foundation

Interfering behaviors are not signs of defiance, manipulation, or bad parenting. They are signals. They tell us a child needs more support, clearer communication, or better tools.

A well-designed behavior plan meets children where they are and helps them grow—safely, respectfully, and with dignity.

When we shift from “How do we stop this behavior?” to “What is my child trying to tell me?”, everything changes.

If you have questions about your child’s behavior plan or would like help understanding how these strategies apply at home, your care team is here to support you. You’re not alone—and neither is your child.